So I'm friggin exhausted today. I mean I've been up and going for 6 hours as of this sentence and I STILL am having problems keeping my eyes open. The only thing that kept me awake and aware on the bus, was the fact that I was ON THE BUS!

My insomnia has really kicked in again of late. I have not a single clue as to why.
See, I have more than one form of insomnia. I know of three forms total, I have two of them.


The types that I have are 'early riser' and 'late drifter'. These are defined as follows.

Early riser is the type of sleeper that once you're woken up, YOU'RE UP! I'm the type that it's REALLY hard for me to get back to sleep. Now, since my sleeping habits have gone down hill I feel like I can drop off at any time for a 9 hour 'catnap'.

'Late drifter' is where either you're tired lying in bed, past your bedtime, and you just can't get to sleep or where you just don't GET tired at night. My problem here is that I just can't get to sleep. I lay there in the dark and watch the minutes tick off as 12 becomes 1 becomes 3 becomes 4:30am. . . This is the more frustrating of the two for me though.

I'm not sure if it's my health condition that's doing this to me or what, but I'll tell you that it's starting to catch up to me. I need about sum days off where I can attempt to catch up on my sleep and attempt to get my schedule settled. . . Not thinking that's gonna happen in the real near future.

Regardless, I'm sure that you all couldn't care less about my sleeping patterns so i'll end it here before I go face down on my keyboard at work. God knows that they would try and charge me for the drool damage on their keyboards.

Chocolate brings pleasure or was it just a myth?

More than anything, I'm in love with chocolate.

Chocolate is part of my childhood memories, reminding me of my late dad returning home from werk and a handful of chocolates wrapped in crackling colorful paper. It's part of my youth, if i may still be considered as one.

I'm mesmerized by chocolate, and I'm entranced by the nostalgic stories around it, which carry me back to long gone romantic days, sigh.

Chocolate is passionate, it's sexy and influential, sumtimes i start my morning by eating a small bar of chocolate with nuts. Weird sum say? Its an obsession i say.

Pls dun claim yourself as a chocolate lover , if you professes to eat only milk chocolate. Any real chocolate lover knows that dark chocolate is the only way to fly. hehe..

And so, often ppl would tell me tht a chocolate lover also defines a romantic person. So wat say u? Do you think i cut to be made as one?

So now I invite you to watch, smell and taste my love experience. Sound like real rite..well, u've been warned..dun say i dun

Im a pretty cynical gerl when it comes to showing my loved ones romantic gestures.
I saw men giving women roses and flowers. I saw women making special dinners for their partners. I saw teddy bears and candy, notes and calls, drives and sunsets. . . many of the very traditional romantic”gestures. But for me, there's nothing more romantic than an unexpected gesture, one that you thought up all on your own

Now, tht's not the only reason how being romantic means to me.

Being romantic, by my definition, isn't about what the giver gets. It's about the giving.

See if you can see what I am talking about in this example.

I wont expect him to fetch me and regard him as my chauffeur despite he owns a car . I wont ask him to blatantly buy things to impress me despite I knew he could afford so or neither will I ask him to abandon his friends despite I knew he would do tht for me.

Now, you tell me if that was romantic?

The last thing tht we have to take into account when it comes to romance is the amount of effort it takes.

So, what's a person to do?

That depends on what you define romantic as and what your intentions are.

I won't say that Im really tht romantic. As Im sure that if u have figured out, I dislike the word under it’s modern definition.

I consider myself more of a giver. I want nothing but the best for tht some1 special. So all of my intentions are directed that way. When I do something for sum1 special, it's because I want 2. It's because it's something tht person will enjoy, or make his life better or happier in sum way.

I dun ever expect anything in return for doing these things. . . wait. . . I lie. I do have expectations in this regard. I do want so badly to make sum1 smile. I want so much to be the 1 tht makes sum1 and to feel loved and to feel good. . .

So, no. . . I'm not romantic.

Ooops, i got carried away. Sorry.

Coming on a bit strong, don't you think? I luv chocolate, but let's not romanticise it 2 much: it's just fat and sugar.

Do i bore u?

I'm selfish that way.

So sue me n i'll end here.

Manic Monday?

Sleepy head me. How do u start off ur Monday?

I begin wif a joker bus driver. The 1st thing i boarded the bus, n routinely, i know he gonna start cracking jokes wif me...things like:
cute gerl gerl, got bring umbrella or not, when u getting married or want some of my kopi o or my cheap biscuits?
Den he'll finish off wif 'sorry hor, uncle juz play2, disturb u only'.
i laugh it out anyway..oohh plz i juz wanna close my eyes. Howver, i must compliment dis uncle for caring his passengers.

Werk? Let's skip tht part here..i was real bz today. I was supposed to meet some deadlines. But I like being bz, keeps my mind werking and time going.

It was lunch and a gd weather, so i thot i go out and take sum fresh air for a change. Also thot of sending my shoe to a cobbler but i end up buying a new pair @ international plaza instead. I no, i no...tht's wat gerls normally do, rite? Its juz a habit..hehe.

And den...

Fate brings me to a long lost fren when i took down the stairs. CT NURBAYA!! I was ecstatic to c her! A mate from madrasah days. I miss those days, i really DO, gerl!She's really gorgeous. How nice! Yeah, it's a small world after all.

End werk. I was walking n chit-chatting wif a colleque when sum1 came along n rudely interrupted our conversation. Obviously, i appear as invisible to dis soul. So arrogant! Haiz, Talk abt educating the kids wif manners, huh? wat abt us, adults? Simple saying like 'excuse me, or sorry 2 interrupt u' seems like a burden. Shame isnt it...but nah, y brood over such ppl. I juz want 2 end a gd Monday.

Talk abt ending a gd day...
now, wats up wif these inconsiderate motorcyclist & cyclist itself. i was walking when a guy in his motorcycle blantantly horn at me like as if i was getting on his way! Such audacity! Come on, u idiotic fool, r u blind or retarded? u r riding on a walking path for goodness sake. I haf threshold of tolerance, therefore i strongly insist tht i shuld give him way and taught him sum manners..n boy, the guy is really pissed i see, haha...there, ive met my objective. I've sin, haf i? Arrgghhh..

Ok, ok..Amid of what happen...a fren, ridwan called me to say he's off to serve the country..hehe. Now, aren't we glad we r gerls? hehe.. Gd luck 2 u, man! Be good!
And Rick, thks for making me feel special. Keep in touch ok!

Enuf said..Thts my Monday!I hope for a better day.

Miss my wkends, my frens

Finally, i can have a peaceful weekend. Juz when i missed my frens, muz called me for dinner 2gether @ simpang bedok. This time wif the whole bunch of group and new ppl. Muz wif her bf, mariam and her fiancee, liana and her bf, while the solos r imran, zul n myself. It's neverending fun hanging out wif u guyz. Everybody seems friendly, crazy, silly n noisy. Although sum r new, however i felt like i've known them for ages. Cool! And yes muz, tht zul guy is really HOT! Tell me abt it ok. Fun ppl and the fun time we had was an antidote to brush off the stressful life for a moment.

As I look around the table, i've realised, tht i've come 2 a stage of life, where every1 is doing well wif their careers, sum are either happily attached, engaged and married.

Anyway,

MAriam & Muz, You have not judged me and have not discriminated me but rather stood by my decisions and i'll always grateful for that. I will pull myself together and everything will be back to normal in no time

MAriam, im ecstatic to hear what u told me juz now, really. We may not spend a lot of time together, but your offer of being there when i need you is more than i can ask for. Thks Zul for me for being a darlz to u, n his being down-to-earth. So remember, stop whining abt this man ok.

Nasty

The past 2 weeks is like a living hell. No home cooked meal, no bathroom, no water n no privacy! Its sheer torture. Yeah, the nasty upgrading has started. Two of my bathrooms were hacked and im now left bathroom-less. Nature calls and baths seems a hassle now. 4 Temporary toilets were build at the void deck...n yes, shared by many other residents. This is juz like one of the relapse during the kampong days where every2 has to get in the line and wait. What choice do i haf? Sigh

U c, im an asthmatic, so dust are my greatest enmy.The day they begin the work, begins my asthma condition as well. My entire house were powdered with dust. We were drained out doing cleaning and mopping. so the next day, we got a lil bit wiser,tht is to cover the whole house wif old newspapers.

Well now, thk god its over, and the agony we faced does proves worthy, i now own a nice bathroom, new windows and the main gate. I applaud the contractors for doing a gd job.

Now its time to relax and start cleaning.

Toodles.